Is Yelling at Children as Harmful as Spanking?

This was a segment on the Friday evening national news. Of course, “experts“, “psychologists” say yes, yelling is as harmful. More Liberal bovine defecation. More Liberal crap.

What is harmful is not disciplining children in a way to teach them there is a penalty to pay for wrong-doing, and it ain’t “time out”.

This brainwashing of parents started back in the 70’s with Dr. Zuess or whatever that idiot’s name was. He taught not touching children when it came to punishing them, just giving them a “time out”.  Uh huh. Sure. You betcha.

So, do you actually believe our society was overflowing with bad children from 1776 to the 1970’s because children were spanked?

From the point of view of a person who grew up in the 50’s and 60’s, our society today is overflowing with bad children.

Back when I was growing up, when children were bad they were spanked. But children [including my two brothers and me] were not spanked every time they did not act like perfect angels. Perhaps that’s what parents today [who were not around before the 70’s] think—children were frequently spanked. No, not true.

Oh, I know there are parents who are really bad parents: mean, abusive, and lacking any qualities to be parents. Some parents have been that way since early Biblical times.

When my brothers or I were really bad, we got spanked. We knew if we got spanked we were very bad. Other ways our parents punished us was to make us stay in our rooms and coming out only to eat dinner and go potty—then back into our rooms, not being able to watch TV, no dessert, making us clean our rooms, and other non-violent forms of punishment. Spanking was reserved for really, really bad behavior.

Occasionally, my parents would raise their voices when they were angry, but they never yelled or screamed. Just raising their voices at us was convincing enough.

The ‘testimony’ of these “experts” implies all the children during the past 200+ years of our country were abused, mistreated, and beaten. The “experts” are the result of either not being spanked when they deserved it or whiners who did bad things and thought being spanked was criminal.

When I was growing up, children did not bring guns to school. Children did not punch unsuspecting people on the streets and knock them out. Children did not burglarize schools and businesses. Children did not have sex with teachers. Children did not have babies before they reached 16. Children did not use vulgar language by the time they were ten-years-old. Children did not scream at their parents. Children did not disrespect their parents, their teachers, and adults. Children did not bully kids so badly that the victims killed themselves. Parents paid attention to what their kids were doing and taught them the difference between right behavior and wrong behavior.

Comparing children when I was growing up to the children of today and of the past twenty years—my generation of children were perfect angels.

You’ve heard ‘spare the rod, spoil the child’? That is exactly what is and has been happening. Children are growing up thinking bad behavior has no serious consequences, just a five minute time out.

Consequently, children today and of the past twenty years have been absolute terrors! No longer is a fist fight after school sufficient. Now kids shoot each other or take a gun to school and kill teachers and students.

Today, ten-year-old’s spew out obscenities that I didn’t DARE utter until I was in military service. Once or twice I said a bad word and my mother washed my mouth out with soap. Parents today don’t do that. Parents today handle that by telling their kids, “Johnny! I don’t want to hear you use that word again,” or they laugh and ignore their dirty-mouthed kid.

Children did not accuse their parents of child abuse and have them arrested.

Children did not sue their parents because they are being forced to obey rules like a curfew set by their parents.

Today, pre-teens and teens have sex much more frequently than my generation. Pre-teens and teens have no respect for their elders, and actually disrespect them to a great degree. Pre-teens and teens cop the attitude the world owes them a living. Teens think if they do not get a brand new car after they get their drivers’ licenses they are being mistreated. Preteens and teens think it is a crime, an actual abuse, if they are not given cell phones, X-boxes, and computers.

Adding to the problem of ‘out of control’ children are the parents who try to be their children’s friends instead of being their children’s parents. Parenting is a lost art.

Believing these so-called experts is accepting that all children in previous generations were brought up badly and abused. That is total crap.

It is TODAY when children are being brought up badly and abused, not in previous generations.

We, my brothers and I, were not ‘given’ things without earning them. I did not receive a brand new car when I got my driver’s license. I got a jalopy that needed some body work, but it was a car, and it was a gift from my parents—and I was overjoyed.

I was not allowed to watch TV past my bedtime except on very, very special occasions. I was not allowed to go to movies that were not rated for children. I was not allowed to watch TV when a warning that some scenes may not be suitable for children prefaced the program.

I was made to say ‘sir’ and ‘ma’am’ and to be respectful to my elders. When was the last time you heard a child, or your child, say sir or ma’am? I am appalled when I see children interviewed on TV respond with ‘yeah’. Yeah? YEAH? My parents would give me a really good tongue lashing if I ever said “yeah” to an adult. There are precious few parents, other than military parents, who teach their children to respect their elders and to say ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am’.

It is children who have grown up from the 70’s and beyond who have drawn our society down the road of chaos and rebellion.

NO, not all children and not all parents fall into this category or to whom this post applies, and they are a minority. The majority of parents and children have fallen short of what should be expected of both.

When I talk about spanking, I am talking about spanking when necessary. I am not talking about spanking for just spilling some milk or having an ‘accident’, if you know what I mean.

Spanking is not an abuse of children—unless the spanking is abusive. I’m sure many of us, if not all of us, know some parents who are not qualified to be parents, either because they really do abuse their children [not talking about sexual abuse] or who are so permissive they would let their children pee on new cars in a showroom and say only, “Now, now, Billy. You shouldn’t do that.”

Parents: stop trying to be your kids’ FRIENDS. You are only doing them harm by trying. Be your rug rats’s PARENTS. BE a parent. TEACH your children right from wrong, and if they do wrong there is an unpleasant penalty to pay.

TEACH your children to respect all other people, both other kids and their elders.

STOP giving your children things without making them earn them.  Your child will be just fine with a used car instead of a shiny new car from a showroom. If they want a new car, make them EARN it. Don’t just GIVE it to them. If they don’t think they should HAVE to earn it, give them a used car—perhaps a jalopy they need to fix up. If your kid complains after receiving a used car as a gift because their friends got a new car from their parents, then—your child is both very spoiled and ungrateful.

And that is YOUR mistake.

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About thomlucci

Disabled Veteran from Vietnam era, 2nd generation Italian-American, conservative, born in PA, raised mostly in Europe. Graduated from high school in France in 1966. Former print journalist, professional photographer. Love animals: dogs, cats, horses, mostly. Current Opinions of News is a blog where I vent my frustrations with Democrats, crime, social issues, and so on. Absolutely Mind Boggling is a blog I use to post amazing things. Well, some of them might not be amazing, but interesting, at least.
This entry was posted in Advice, crime, Education, Parenting, Society, The News Media, Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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